Complete o nível Summer Sun do menu principal com pontuação máxima para desbloquear: "Air. Wind. Sun. Pain. I Am All of This, and Your Mom Makes a Fine Pasta Dinner".
Alcance pelo menos 10.000 beijos no total para desbloquear: "I am at Risk of Contracting Mononucleosis, Which is Known Colloquially as the Kissing Disease".
Acumule mais de 999.999,999 pontos no total durante o jogo para desbloquear: "I am One in a Million, and There Are Six Thousand People in the World Exactly Like Me".
Complete com sucesso 4.096 saltos para desbloquear: "I Avoid Sleep Wherever Possible, So I Played AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! a Whole Lot".
Complete seu 128º salto para desbloquear: "I Have Jumped Beyond the Powers of Two, and Have Lived to Tell the Tale".